If at first you don't succeed try, try again!

In the past few years of my life I have done my best to take control of some of my, less enjoyable, characteristics. This process included various types of therapy and self help practices. During this time, I learned something that was enormously helpful to the achievement of my overall goal:

~Human beings have a subconscious drive to repeat that which they have not mastered~

The subconscious mind is very self centered, and wants to fill itself with positive and rewarding experiences. When you think about this on the surface, it almost seems to contradict the statement before it. However, this subconscious drive is so strong, that it is willing to place you in uncomfortable situations, over and over again, just to have a chance at perfection that one time.

Doesn't that put a whole lot into perspective? It's a well known fact that people tend to make the same mistakes more than once. The most common of these mistakes can be seen through the various types of relationships we expose ourselves to. For example, dating a person that has the exact same negative characteristics as the last person you dated. Well, you can stop beating yourself over it because it was your subconscious that put you there! That's right, because you had an unsuccessful relationship with a certain type of person, your subconscious wants you to try it again! Can you think of all the times that we hear that men marry women just like their mothers and women marry men like their fathers? While most of us would deny that this is the case, if you look deep enough, you may just find it to be true. It can be a tricky task, as the subconscious takes pride in masking itself in most situations. That's why they call it the subconscious!

This is not to say that we do not have control over our life's path. It just means that we need to work harder when there is a need for change. In some cases, the situations we find ourselves in can produce very positive effects. We may not enjoy it at the time, but in the end, we benefit from the process. These are usually smaller, less life altering situations that exist in our life for a small period of time, and once they are over, we move on and simply carry with us the overall experience. But then there are those individuals who struggle through life repeating the same pattern and remain there. This is the very reason many people need others to help them cope and handle certain situations. Consider those addicted to drugs, or victims of abuse. These individuals need to make a conscious effort to seek therapy and improve their lives. In cases of addiction and abuse, there are almost always other factors in play; some stronger than others. But throwing in this underlying element of the subconscious certainly doesn't make the process of changing any easier.

The truth is, we all deal with unresolved conflict throughout life. In the end, it's reassuring to know that this only makes us stronger individuals. We are shaped by the events in our lives, negative or positive, and thanks to our unconscious mind, we are driven to master all that is negative. After all, it only wants us to be perfect!

Don't cry because it's over; laugh because it happened

So, I thought I would ease back into my blogging with an entry that will both help you get to know me a little better, and also allow me to reminisce.

If you are reading this blog, then I'm sure you are familiar with it's name. But how did the name "Laughing Seahorse" come to be? Well, like most things in my life, this name has a deeper meaning.

As we all know, the adjective "laughing" goes hand in hand with being happy. If you stop right now, and picture someone in a fit of laughter, you will most likely have a smile on your face. That's because, in most cases, the activity is infectious. Laughter can be associated with one of the most important things we own, our memories. As humans we are very lucky to possess the ability to store memories. Our memories play a big role in shaping our lives.

This leads me to the second word in my blog title, 'Seahorse". I've always been fascinated with these magnificent creatures and I began my love for seahorses back in college. I worked for a professor in the Psychology department studying an area of the brain called the hippocampus. It turns out that the word hippocampus actually means "seahorse" in Greek. It earned this name because it is curved in a manner that resembles a seahorse. This area of the brain is in charge of learning and storing memories. Our studies were geared towards obtaining a better understanding of the disease Alzheimer’s. Most people know that this disease destroys memories due to a deterioration of brain cells. But what most people don't know is that this deterioration occurs mainly in this one area of the brain.

While studying the hippocampus, I simultaneously grew more intrigued with seahorses. Not only does the seahorse symbolize one of the most important areas of the brain, it also has several other meanings. The Ancient Greeks and Romans believed the seahorse was an attribute of the sea god Neptune/Poseidon. As such, the seahorse was considered a symbol of strength. Chinese cultures believe that the seahorse is a type of sea dragon, and they are revered for their power and are thought to be symbols of good luck.

The physical abilities of a seahorse are quite impressive as well. They can wrap their tails around the nearest object in order to anchor themselves in turbulent waters. This demonstrates their ability to persevere, even when faced with the most extreme obstacles. Along with the tail, seahorses have another characteristic that make them quite unique; their eyesight. They have an extremely sharp sense of sight. Both of their eyes move independently which allows them to be very aware of those around them.

I see a lot of myself in the seahorse. I can be strong when I need to be and I possess the ability to weather any kind of storm. Perhaps the most visibal trait the seahorse and I share is awareness. I am a hyper-vigilant person, almost to a fault. I have a feeling for my surroundings at all times and in all situations. This is a defense mechanism built by my subconcious to protect me from harm.

So, there you have it, "The Laughing Seahorse". A name which represents both who I am and what I love to do. Without my "seahorse", I would not be capable of writing the words you are reading at this very moment.

The Return of the Pondering Mind!

I only have time for a quick post today. Many of you were entertained by my "Pondering Mind" entry from last week, so I thought I would give you all a few more to think about:

If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, how did we all get to Earth?

Why don't you ever see the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

The black box that they recover from plane wrecks is indestructible, right? So why don't they make the whole plane out of that?

How come sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Isn't it strange that caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Exactly how fast do hotcakes sell?

If a stripper gets breast implants, can she write them off as a business expense?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

Shouldn't abbreviated be a shorter word?

If you were "scared half to death" twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

The worst mistake anyone can make is being too afraid to make one....

"I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that wont work."
-Thomas Edison

I think it's a shame that so many people go through their lives being afraid to mess up. Let's be honest, no one wants to feel like a failure. It is in our nature as human beings to want to receive praise and to make other people close to us proud. But would it be possible for us to even feel these things if we didn't know what it was like to make a mistake? I've always maintained the belief that without mistakes, errors and poor decisions, the world would experience very little progress at all.

People need to have hopes, dreams and goals. As a person begins to take action toward the fulfillment of these goals and dreams, they have to realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Making mistakes, getting it almost right and experimenting to see what happens, are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
Can you imagine if a toddler gave up the very first time they fell when trying to walk?

Perhaps the problem is not making mistakes, but what you tell yourself when you do make one. This depends on your "rule" for making mistakes. We all have "rules" for living that we learned early in life and apply to our daily experiences. Since we live in an achievement and success oriented world we are often taught the rule, "Whenever you do anything, do it right" or the similar rule "Anything worth doing is worth doing right". Our parents, teachers, coaches and friends all have an impact on the rules we learn. If we learn the rule that I have just described, we become perfectionists and don't like mistakes. Mistakes are viewed as bad, and something to be avoided. What then happens to the individuals that discover that they are unable to be perfect? Every mistake that they make is interpreted as a flaw in their character, which then becomes internalized. Whether the mistake is big or small, the voice of conscious inside that person's head will sound a bit like this: "Look what you did! What is wrong with you? Can't you do anything right? You will never learn. Why don't you just give up?" This person, understandably, becomes sad, angry and frustrated. The act of the mistake has now become translated and their behavior and mood will reflect this. The person has actually created this link unintentionally as a result of the inner dialogue which contained name calling and criticism.

It has been said that only those who are asleep make no mistakes. Making mistakes is part of being human, and I think a very large percentage of the world fails to see the value in not getting something right the first time. So what should you say to yourself the next time you make a mistake? Try something like: "Great! Wonderful! Now I can learn something." If you start saying more positive things to yourself, you will be energized and feel excited. There will be motivation for the next challenge. The "rule" I mentioned previously may have been good to keep you out of trouble when you were 6 years old, but it is not doing you any good right now. The rule needs to change. You need to understand that you have a lot more control over your actions and which direction your mistakes will take you. Ralph Nader once said, "Your best teacher is your last mistake." Mistakes should be viewed as a good thing. If something is not perfect the first time around, that's fine, make adjustments and try again. If a person is too afraid to make a mistake, how will they ever reach their potential? They will only settle for doing the things that they know they have mastered and they will never grow. They do not want to hear the voice in their head telling them that they are "no good", so they will avoid it by only doing things they are sure will not result in a mistake. Being too afraid to make a mistake is the worst mistake anyone can make.

Remember this the next time someone near you makes the wrong decision. Be there to tell them how great it is that they are trying to accomplish something, and that their mistake has only helped them on their way to fulfilling their goal or dream.

The Pondering Mind...

What is a "Free Gift"? Aren't all gifts free?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

If humans evolved from monkeys/apes, why are they still here?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service'? What if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?

Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?

If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Happy Friday! Remember to laugh...

The Luxury of Practicality....

There are quite a few things in this world that I just don't see the need for. It has often puzzled me that "luxury" car companies feel the need to create SUVs. Now, I am not knocking anyone that has one of these vehicles, I'm sure you have your reasons. I would just really be interested in what those reasons are. When I think of a Lexus, Mercedes or BMW, I think of (overpriced) sedans. To me, these car companies and the term SUV should not even be spoken in the same sentence. It's like saying "hot ice" or an "organized mess". It's an oxymoron and unless the car companies are just trying to introduce a little intentional humor into our lives, it's unnecessary.

Let's break this down into it's components. SUV is an acronym that stands for Sport Utility Vehicle. Now, let's try to relate these three words to the car companies I have named above. After thorough analysis, I have come to the conclusion that only one of these three words truly applies, and that is Vehicle. I can't argue with that one. Lexus, Mercedes and BMW certainly do make vehicles. Some might also argue that the word Sport can apply to these companies. This is true as BMW and Mercedes do manufacture cars designed for the "sport" of racing. But, this just further drives my point home, as these are certainly not SUVs, they are cars.

So what is the history of these Sport Utility Vehicles and what is their intended function? Well I'm glad you asked! Very, very early modules of SUVs were descendants from commercial and military vehicles such as the World War II Jeep. What's that? You don't remember seeing any photographs of the BMW X5 surrounded by soldiers in the middle of the desert? Hmmm, I wonder why?

What is the desire to own an SUV to begin with? Their off-road capabilities! That's right, most SUVs come with four wheel drive and are built with the frame of a small truck. They were designed to be rather tough and to make it through various types of terrain. In fact, beginning in the 70's, SUVs were sold and marketed primarily as "work vehicles".

When I think of companies associated with SUVs, the first three that come to my mind are Ford, Chevy and Jeep. And wouldn't you know it, these three car manufacturers were among the very first to create an SUV. Ford had the Bronco (1966), Chevy had the Blazer (1969) and Jeep had the Wagon (1948). I most certainly do not think of Lexus, Mercedes or BMW! As far as I can tell, people who buy SUVs from these companies are just looking for a status symbol. They buy the vehicle for its luxury and cost. They make their choice based on the lifestyle they are accustomed to, not the practicality. So what's next, a Lexus truck?

To illustrate my point, consider the following scenario. You need to go see a doctor for a medical condition, and you have two choices. The first is a doctor that specializes in the exact condition you have and has been an M.D. for 20 years. The second choice is a doctor that just got out of med school less than a year ago and has very little knowledge of your condition. In fact, this second doctor specializes in a completely different area of medicine. To top things off, the second doctor will cost you twice as much as the first. Now, they are both doctors with a license to practice medicine, but which would you choose? Personally, I'm going with the guy who has 20 years experience, was trained in the area I need and will cost significantly less. To me, that just seems like the obvious choice. So why do so many people choose doctor #2? This is just one of those things that I don't think I will ever have the answer to. It will just linger in my mind each time one of these "luxury" SUVs passes me on the highway.


Stay tuned for future posts on the US handing out driver's licenses in Cracker Jack boxes and the ever popular, driving of Hummers while the price of gas is $4 a gallon!